Nov
1
2009
Believe it or not, Halloween used to be a real holiday. It used to be special. Kids costumes were creative. Moms would buy fabric months in advance and actually sew outfits. Dad would sacrifice old boots or work gloves so their little boys could perform their best impression of Indiana Jones or Luke Skywalker. Kids would pride themselves of the fear they could produce with painted faces and fake blood. You would spend the week before October 31st making popcorn balls and carmel apples. Hundreds of kids would run from door to door around the neighborhood with no time to spare, filling pillow cases that would by the end of the night produce a bounty that could sometimes last until early December. And if by chance some fancy pants neighbor decided to hand out apples or God forbid a toothbrush, well then there was a few rolls of toilet paper and a dozen eggs ready and waiting. That was the good old days when Trick or Treat was a threat, not just a meaningless phrase muttered to produce a fun size Snickers bar.
Halloween has lost its luster. There is no hard work involved. Now, parents buy Bat, or Spider or Iron man costumes from the local Walgreens. These costumes are nothing more then painted garbage bags manufactured in Malaysian sweatshops by kids that could only dream of such a glorious holiday.
Little vampires and devils no longer run from house to house, because parents are in local church parking lots with cotton stretched across the hatchback of their Yukon to simulate a spiderweb. Trunk or treat is the new trend to make Halloween even easier. As if buying your little girl a pre-assembled Hannah Montanna outfit wasn’t simple enough. And the Kids that do actually knock on your door turn away without so much as a word of gratitude. Even as I was nearing the end of my trick or treating career. When my eye was single to the filling of my Heman pillowcase, I still had enough sense to utter a thank you to the old lady who got up from her velvet recliner to drop an abacazaba in my bag. I am only in my early thirties but this act of ungratefulness forces me to sound like my father, “ kids these days.”
Halloween is a noble holiday that has survived centuries of persecution. Preachers, conservative talk show hosts and school administrators have done everything in their power to deny children their god given right of free candy and dressing up like monsters, Even Major League baseball got in on the action this year. How dare they put game three of the World Series on when fathers should be out walking the streets with their children. We are loosing this great holiday because of our own neglect and laziness. Mothers, you don’t have to be Betsy Ross, but for heaven sakes be creative. My mom dressed me up as a diaper box one year. Fathers, stop participating in the atrocity known as trunk or treating, you are turning you boys into sissy’s. They should be out running the streets slightly past curfew when the threat of high school kids stealing their candy is eminent. This will teach them to be resourceful, resilient, and it will build character.
Halloween is no Christmas, it’s no Fourth of July, but it is better then Easter. Lets all do our part to insure that it does not slide further down the Holiday ladder. Keep it cool, keep it scary, but most of all, keep it real.
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